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Legally Yellow: The Yellow Pages

by Chun Mei Ing

People always have this ostentatious impression about yellows and blondes. See I know what ostentatious means! That's like a... 1.2.3.. uhm.. uh what's after 3... 83? It's a long word okay! We think too. We're not some pretty Barbie dolls all dressed up in like Gucci, Prada, LVs, Michael Kors, Reem Acra... you know! Well okay fine we are like real pretty and extremely fashionable but we have a brain too, like you know!!! Did you know that thinking actually like burns calories?! OMG I know right. We should so totally like think more. I mean the cells in your body turns the sugars and in turn those nasty carbs into ATP which is like a credit card of energy. So of course you need a credit card to think, right (preferably a black AmEx one)? So the more you think, the more you use ATP and burn carbs and calories!! Isn't that like just totally oh-my-goodness amazing? See I told you yellows and blondes could think! In your face, Discrimination... and your cheeks.. and your flat chest... and and your fat stomach... and uhm.. your concave butt... and uhm... and .. everything else, Discrimination and all the other antonyms.. Was it antonyms? Or perhaps homonyms? What do you call that word that means the same thing as another word? Uhm whatever. Just yeah...